Seeking: Inspiration

I've been feeling a little blah lately - okay, a lot blah.

My typical day goes a bit like this: hit the snooze button three too many times, frantically rush to get ready for work, barely catch the bus, work all day, head to a dance class or the gym, wait and wait and wait and wait for the bus, arrive home by 9:30 on a good night, shove food into my mouth, scroll through my emails or flip through the snail mail, respond to an email or two if I'm lucid, clean up the dish disaster from the morning, collapse into bed... And repeat. The weekend arrives with it's own bustle of errands and household chores, squeezing in husband and friend time when I'm not decompressing or catching extra zzz's. Before I know it, Monday is here again.

Whew.

I'm no stranger to an over-committed schedule. I guess my true complaint is I feel that my life lately is colored in shades of beige and gray, reflecting winter here in Pittsburgh. The days and weeks pass and I feel like I'm just going through the motions. No color, no flashes of inspiration, no aha! moments. I long to teach, to choreograph, to create, and find myself playing the wishing game with the ideas that dance through my mind, causing my heart to flutter as I lay in bed at night. But when the moment comes when I sit down at my computer, or stand in my bedroom (the current choreography studio), poised and ready... nothing.

The ideas vanish.

Then I had my duh moment: it is impossible to give when your well is empty.

I woke up last weekend and decided it was time to change what I can control. I can't change the weather (oh how I'd love to borrow some Colorado sun to share with the Steel City) but I can add splashes of color here and there. After brainstorming a game plan, I ventured out to obtain a few nuggets to begin the awakening.


At the Ballet: Onstage, Backstage... A big book of snapshots of the San Francisco Ballet in 1998, in company class, rehearsal, children taking their first class, and principal dancers captivating the audience. Nothing inspires me more than dance photography. A dancer's body in action is nothing less than art.

Never Stand Still: Dancing at Jacob's Pillow... Merce Cunningham, Paul Taylor, Suzanne Farrell, Mark Morris, Judith Jamison, Bill Irwin - need I say more? It is but a dream to simply take class at the Pillow. Becket, MA, is a lot closer to Pittsburgh than Colorado was. One step closer.

My good friends Detective Holmes and Dr. Watson never fail to help get the storytelling juices flowing (aren't old British detective stories just the bees knees?!). I also picked up a story about two sisters' adventures in western China in 1923, and how they are tied to a modern-day London gal. A Lady Cyclist's Guide to Kashgar, by Suzanne Joinson, is sure to pluck at my own wanderlusting heartstrings.

New sketch pencils, a Pink Pearl eraser, and a sharpener... the cherry on top! Using the aforementioned book of ballet dancers, I intend to shake the cobwebs loose from my figure drawing and costume sketches. Just a playful hobby for me, but one that I love and am not too terrible at.

All in all, nothing extravagant or elaborate, but enough to begin filling the well, drop by drop.

What's filling your well these days?

 

 xoxo

J

Nike doesn't pay me... but I sure wish they did

Best compliment I got this week: "Well, look at you, Biker Barbie! Even your bangs are peeking out oh-so-perfectly from under your helmet..." Two coworkers of mine commented on how cute and coordinated I looked, even while sporting a bike helmet and sporty duds. Seems silly, but it was perfect timing because I've been feeling less than cute lately. Dresses and heels just don't work very well on a bike (maybe a cruiser, but I zip around town on a mountain bike). I guess they had a point... I mean, my pink and white bike helmet, bright purple capris, Nike Eclipse kicks and hot pink backpack ensemble was pretty Barbie-esque. I can live with that :)

Nike. One of my fave brands by far. When I rock the Eclipse kicks, backpack with the big white swoosh and Nike tee all on the same day, its ridiculous. I'm a walking endorsement. I guess I'm a bit obsessed with the brand.

I may or may not have spent a ridiculous amount of time perusing the Nikestore site this morning, as well as You Tube stalking the Nike Women Channel (girl crush alert!). I do need new workout duds, especially since the amount of time I'm going to be teaching and dancing is going to increase exponentially here soon. And the You Tube stalking was work research... I'm looking for new exercises for the strength section of my Cardio Kickboxing & Strength class :)

Perfect for the studio this fall, no?? (minus the shoes, of course)

Role models

The girl in the white hoodie? That's Sofia Boutella. She's a bad ass. Ballet dancer turned b-girl... homegirl is legit. Her passion and fire and drive - and muscles! - are a total inspiration. I love, love, love this Nike ad from 2006, with Sofia just doin' her thang...



Ahhhh, Fridaylicious! Enjoy your margaritas, your bbq's and your couch time (I know I will!)... but be sure to mix it up with a solid sweat sesh or two :)

Images via Nike Women and Nike Women on Facebook
Nike is not paying me to show them off, unfortunately... I just love them.

Happy weekend lovelies!

xoxo
J

Inspiration

photos via we heart it

xoxo
J

The case of the missing mojo!

Last week, my dance mojo went missing. I couldn't remember combinations in class or choreography in rehearsals, and the bad case of choreographer's block that I've been fighting for weeks now was still in full force. The mojo was MIA. I started to get a little panicked, but then the second half of the week seemed to get better, so I thought maybe I was just tired and needed a li'l battery recharge.

But then I tried choreographing this weekend, and again, no dice. Panic turned to frustration. Frustration turned to stress. I drove home from the studio last night completely dumbfounded. What the heck is wrong with me? Not only did I feel blocked, but I felt empty inside, with nothing there. Nada. Zilch. ZERO. The well was dry. But I don't have time to wait around for the muse to fill it back up. There are only six weeks until the Student Concert, and I will be out of town one of those weeks. On top of that, rehearsals with one of the semester's guest artists start next week, and those are going to cause conflicts. I have about 6 minutes of music to work with and only about 50 seconds choreographed at this point. [Insert panicked, stressed Jessi here.]

Deep breath in. And out. And try ignoring the stress-numbing sugar cravings... cupcakes? ice cream??

Okay, I have to figure this out. I can't just panic and pout on the couch with Ben & Jerry's... as tempting as that may be... So I started thinking... what inspires me? what gets the creative juices flowing? what revs my mojo?? Chicago, Deeply Rooted... I can't help but keep going back to Chicago. I keep yearning to reattain what I found in Chicago... the ah-ha moments, the growing pains, the no excuses you-get-your-leg-up-there-I-don't-care-how-bad-it-hurts tough love from the choreographers, feeling some serious power onstage during the performance... there in the Windy City I discovered my MOJO...

This missing mojo must be found. But how?? And then I found this... I can't stop watching it, I can't stop thinking about it, I can't stop replaying the music in my head...



Their movement. The music. Omigod, their MOVEMENT. I wish I had words to articulate how this piece stirs me... that is exactly how I desire to move. That is what I'm striving for.
Watching this clip (over and over and over) is telling me to go back to what I know and love. Create movement that resonates with me. Stop worrying if anyone will like it or not. Tell my story through my body, not anyone else's. I think the mojo is making it's way back to mama.

Oh, and for those unfamiliar with the nuances of dance, the style they are dancing is modern, with African fused in. So, African modern, really.

And several of you have mentioned wanting to see me dance... I would love to indulge you with a li'l vlog; however, I am video camera-less. Sad day, I know. But stay tuned. A li'l somethin' just might turn up here in the future...

[And P.S. I was tickled by the excited response I got about being back out there dating and the new handsome fella I'm spending time with! Thanks for all your encouragement, it meant a LOT! The quick update: things are going swimmingly so far... we had another date this weekend, a spontaneous one which is always exciting! Maybe there's a post revealing a few more deets coming soon...?!? Only time will tell... *wink*]

xoxo Jessi

BAM! A sudden burst of inspiration

So, in addition to really needing to get my arse into the studio [um, fail last night... *blushes in embarrassment*...], I also need to get on the ball with some choreography. Like now! It's "strongly suggested" that us dance majors choreograph a piece for each semester's Student Dance Concert. This is the concert I did my "Love Lockdown" piece for last semester (more about that here and here). So, I have that to get busy with that. AND, I have instructions to choreo a li'l swing ditty for Tour Company this year.

Most the summer I've been putting off the Tour choreo, saying I'll do it after Chicago. Welllll, it's well after Chicago and I don't even have a song picked. Cripes. Similar song and dance for the Student Concert choreo. Having a song to choreograph to is kinda crucial for me. Some people can start putting movement together and then put a song to it, but not me. I can only choreograph when I'm moved, and music is what moves me.

So, finding music for both has been on my mind, but I haven't had much luck... until this afternoon!

I was looking for something to listen to on iTunes while working, and noticed that a few people here in the building had their iTunes libraries on "share". So I jumped on one gal's library and started scrolling through. I was enjoying a lovely smorgasbord of AC/DC, Gnarls Barkley, Duran Duran, The Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, En Vogue, etc., when the Flobots came on. Ooh, the Flobots! If you don't know these guys, check 'em out on YouTube. For one, they're sweet; secondly, they're local to Denver; and C, one of the guys in the band is a hip hop dance friend from years ago... but I digress...

So, the Flobots' album is playing and one song in particular strikes a chord for me: "Anne Braden". The song is about a woman from the South who talks about fighting against lynchings. This piques my curiosity, as I'm ever-interested in anything related to Civil Rights... so I Google Anne Braden and find out that she was a real lady. She was a southern white women who fought against racism in the 1950's, at a time when it was very unbecoming of any white southerner to speak up about racism, much less a southern lady.

Then I suddenly remembered something I saw at the DuSable Museum of African American History in Chicago. Again, I'm very interested in Civil Rights history in this country, so while at the museum I told my friends that I had to go see the Civil Rights exhibit, to be sure to see displays about "my homeboy", Martin Luther King, Jr. (My friends thought this was hilarious, coming from their white friend). Well, while checking things out in the "Tracing the Civil Rights Movement" exhibit, I saw a display about the event that ignited the entire U.S. Civil Rights movement (according to my findings on the Internets today): the murder of Emmett Till.

Oh. My. God. The pictures in this exhibit were the most horrifying things I've ever seen. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I suddenly got hot, my head felt light and floaty, and I started crying right there. My friends had to steer me away because I was so traumatized. I won't outline the details here, but go look up Emmett Till on Google Images and see for yourself.

Long story short, I've been inspired to choreograph a piece for the Student Dance Concert based on my views about racial prejudice, hate crimes, civil rights and social justice in the great, noble US of A. Hearing that Flobot song, which triggered the memory of the Emmet Till exhibit and how profoundly horrifying it was... is the trigger I needed. Something that triggers an emotional response from deep inside is a creative catalyst for me. I have a really hard time creating something that doesn't have much heart behind it. It feels trite and fake. And I want to be proud of what I put on stage and what I do on stage. I don't know exactly what this piece will entail or how it will look yet, and I have no idea what music I'll use, but the ideas are starting to flow and take shape from the indecisive "I could do this... or this..." fog, a place I was floating around in just this morning.

Once the creative juices are let loose, it's like whitewater rafting on class-4 rapids... hold on tight, y'all!