Sexy AND warm mission accomplished!

Can't write much - must start my party prep with a quick nap and the time is a-tickin'! - but must report on the NYE get-up...

As of this morning, I still had no idea what my NYE outfit was going to be... this was unacceptable. So, despite being hella tired from a late night out last night with my former roomie but forever partner in crime Nicodemus (not her real name, but my name for her... and a very long story as to why she has a dude's biblical name... mwah ha ha), I ventured out in search of something that would be comfy, warm and sexy all at once.

I tell you what, Ross Dress for Less never lets me down. NEVER. In a time and money pinch, I always find something. I usually find too much, actually, but that's besides the point.

Today Ross provided me with a cute jersey (comfy) boat neck sweater dress (warm). Oh, and it's a mini-dress, taking care of the sexy. And it was only $8!!! Fo' shizzle! Add to it some black tights, silver jewelry, my tall Italian black boots and some rockin' hair, and I'm good to go. Game on, New Year's Eve!

Okay, nap time... eeeeeeeh, I might be too excited to sleep!!...

xoxo
J

Staying in shape thanks to Billy Blanks

That's right, the 90's Tae Bo phenom. When I don't have dance classes to take, a gym to go to or it's too friggin' cold outside to want to do anything out there, I rely on my good ol' Tae Bo videos, circa 1999. Before there was Zumba, before there was Jillian Michaels' Shred, there was Billy Blanks' Tae Bo!

(an original video cover)

I remember Tae Bo classes being offered at a local Tae Kwon Do dojo (dojo? is that the right word??) back in the day. I religiously attended. I loved the total ass-kicking. All good things must come to an end, though, so once I didn't have the funds to keep paying my membership dues, I quit the classes. But I couldn't quit Billy, so I bought the videos.

Tae Bo will rock your socks. It still rocks mine, every time I dust of the ol' VHS (yes, I still own a VCR). I use my "newer" DVD (circa 2003) for cardio, but go back to the 1999 VHS for the ab and butt conditioning. Holy shiz-zam! Nothing has transformed my body like dance has, but Tae Bo is a very, very close second. And my dance teachers always tell us to cross-train, so this is my cross-training of choice.

I even have Billy's book...

(awwww, I just love him)

Billy isn't just about chiseled abs, even though you will be well on your way to getting them with his workouts... he uses a holistic approach, constantly mentioning your "heart" and "spirit" in his videos. On his website, he describes Tae Bo as a "combination of self-awareness and control of martial arts, the focus and strength of boxing, and the grace and rhythm of dance." Some might think his holistic focus weird, but I'm totally on board. Because, really, if you aren't fully engaged mind, body and spirit with transforming your life to a healthier place, it ain't gonna work.

Once upon a time I was a certified aerobics instructor, and I remember dreaming about going out to Cali someday to get Tae Bo certified and meeting Billy. I don't think you can get certified anymore, but I could still meet him! Who knows, maybe I will someday?

If Zumba or Shred is your thang, more power to you... seriously, I'm not dissin' either one. You have to find your groove and I've always been a HUGE proponent of physical fitness and health, so whatever gets you moving, do it, no excuses. But my loyalties always have been and always will be with Billy.

xoxo
J

Take a peek under the ballet tights and you will find fishnets...

Who'da thought that a little musical about a playboy Italian film director in the 1960's trying to regain his artistic mojo while balancing a handful of sexy, beautiful women, would bring back my mojo???

OMG.

Go see Nine. NOW. Even if musicals aren't your thing, or if you're a dude and you think that it's a chick movie... puh-lease. There is enough eye candy in this movie to go around twice and still have some left over!

I can't get the title song out of my head... Beeeeee Ital-ian!... And it's taking every bit of self-control to not start dancing around my apartment like a sassy jazz dancer... 'cause I can. Oh yes, I can.

You see, once upon a time, long before ballet and modern and the CSU dance department, I rocked the retro, vintage scene as a swing dancer...

(I'm the one on the far left, all up in A's business...)

And in the midst of my days as a swing cat, I did some more "cabaret" style jazz from time to time...

(I hypnotize yet another man with my swagger...)

This included some French Can Can dancing and some Fosse-style jazz (think Velma Kelly in Chicago). Back in those days, I had sass... I had passion... I came alive on stage... not to say the dancing I do now doesn't feed me, but, well... it's more like beans and rice. Jessi wants champagne and filet mignon and creme brulee...

SO.

I'm bringing my inner cabaret, burlesque, Fosse jazz dancer back. She's been hidden away for far too long. I'm pulling out my fishnet tights, my feather boas and my red lipstick. I'm getting my derriere into jazz classes. Local studios re-open classes next week and I will be there, even if I have to sell most of my stuff to pay for classes.

Last night, I saw a couple of dance friends from this bygone era of my dance life while they were in town for the holidays... one guy now lives in New York City, and the other in LA. Both are making a living dancing. I asked my LA friend, whom I mentioned in my previous post, for some professional advice... I asked him what is one of the most important things I can do right now to prepare myself before I head out into the professional world. He told me to find my niche. Know who I am as a dancer and a performer. And hone in on this, fine tune it, announce it to the world. Directors and choreographers will see it shine in auditions and that is what will land me jobs.

So there you go. I don't know why I pushed it back, tucking it away in the back of the closet, thinking I was done once I started ballet and modern training... but I'm not done. The fishnets and feathers and cleavage and crimson lips and bedhead hair in Nine reignited the fire, reminding me what really gets me all jazzed...

xoxo

J

Holiday blues

I wish I could echo what most of you lovelies have posted about your own Christmases, but I would be lying. And I'm not a good liar. The whole heart-on-my-sleeve thing? Oh, I've got it down to a science.

So, my Christmas was disappointing. I'm not talking presents or anything material... presents are always very minimal in my family, which is okay... a very tight budget is our reality, and you learn to live with it. And for me, that's not what it's all about anyway. It's about the heart and love and all that smarmy Christmas cheer, none of which was in abundance this year. Some family drama went down about a week prior to Christmas, setting the mood for everyone. I did try... I baked cookies, I cheerfully wrapped gifts, I listened to Christmas music and watched holiday movies... all of which put me in the Christmas spirit, but once I actually got to the fam's house, it all disappeared. I felt anxious and edgy until the moment I got back into my car and drove home.

Unfortunately, this was not the first Christmas like this. Each time it's happened, I tell myself that the next year I will just take myself to Mexico or Europe and have a holiday that I enjoy... but of course, the reality of me doing that is pretty slim. I mean, for me, Christmas should be spent with loved ones. That would be hard to accomplish if I'm somewhere else all alone. And, as each new holiday season approaches, I think that maybe it will turn out differently this time, that it will be happy and joyous and blah blah blah. And the cycle continues.

I feel bad about being so Scroogey, loves... that's why I didn't post sooner. Reading all your posts about your holidays made me feel guilty about being such a downer. I really wish I could say that my Christmas was full of good cheer... but like I said, I'm not good at lying. So, I'm glad Christmas is over. There, I said it. I feel better now.

I'm effing ready for the New Year. I'm ready to get back to dancing and eating normally. I'm ready to start new projects and get some shiz done! I've always loved New Years and the feeling of starting over. I get excited about making resolutions and goals. I love the anticipation of turning the calendar from December to January, the empty page wide open for so many new possibilities! So that's what I'm focusing on now... goals and resolutions are forming in my mind, ready to be put down on paper in just a few days.

AND, I'm going to go see Nine tonight with my friend K. The trailer gives me goosebumps, and a dancing friend who lives in LA (who got to see the preview with the cast back in October, the lucky dog!!) told me it's off the hook, so I'm crossing my fingers that I love it as much as I love Chicago... tonight, I will be Italian...

xoxo
J

Look out, Project Runway...

Well, as usual, I'm late... but in the spirit of my blog (and my life, really), better late than never!

First, the dance scoop... So as some of you might recall, I had some serious creative block at the beginning of the fall semester. I began choreographing a dance piece for the Student Dance Concert, and I had a general theme, found a couple songs to use and had an idea in my head what the finished result looked like... that is sort of how I roll with my choreography, as a side note. I get inspired by a song or an idea/theme, then I start seeing the final production in my head, onstage with lighting and costumes and everything, and then I start putting it together step by step. Well, I got as far as seeing it all in my head, but kept getting stuck with coming up with movement. I know every artist goes through this, myself being no exception, but it was worse than usual this semester.

Well of course I finally finished it. The theme of my piece is anti-racism... I used the song "Anne Braden" by The Flobots and an old spiritual called "Oh Freedom" (this version is cut short and more dramatic than how it was performed in my piece). Three of my dancers sang this song a Capella while the rest of us danced.

After I finished choreographing, I wasn't in love with it at first. I think I felt insecure about it since I struggled with it so much, plus I felt so much pressure to come up with movement that would match the significance of the songs' lyrics. But then during tech and dress rehearsals, I started getting positive feedback from peers and faculty. I stood out in the audience and watched during some rehearsals (I danced in this piece, which I won't repeat, for future reference... trying to choreograph a piece that you also dance in is hella difficult...) to check spacing, formations, etc., and was pleasantly surprised with how it had all come together. And I started to feel excited about it.

Then, a couple cool things happened... first, my piece was one of the student pieces selected to be featured in the Fall Dance Concert. Sweet! Then my roommate tells me that she knows a girl who is on the planning committee for Martin Luther King, Jr., events at CSU in January, and she wanted to talk to me about my piece potentially being included in the event lineup. I was very flattered by that! That didn't end up working out because they couldn't squeeze my dance into the schedule this late in the game, but now I'm talking with a guy who is planning a variety show in February for Black History Month and really wants my piece included. Again, I'm quite flattered! And to think that I was just going to write my piece off as a failure...

And now the costume scoop... I took Costume Design this semester, and for the final project I had to design and make a dance costume. It was to be for "Romeo and Juliet", but we could pick any time period, past, present or future. I decided to go with a Greco-Roman-inspired design, thinking that a tunic, or something like it, would be the easiest thing to sew. I was hella worried about this project, as I discussed in this post, since the most sewing I do are buttons that fall off my clothes or ribbons and elastics on my ballet shoes.

As some of you may recall, this is the picture that inspired my design...

I didn't have a pattern, and never found one that was close to what I had in mind, so my teacher actually helped me draw my own. It wasn't too hard, surprisingly. Then I got to cutting and sewing and oila! I have a costume!

Here are the pics... now, I'm no Project Runway contestant or DIY goddess like the lovely Maegan, but I'm pretty proud of myself on this little number. I surged a hem, I sewed bias tape at the neckline and arm hole, and I put a zipper in, y'all... boo-ya!

(the front)

(the side)

(the back)

Oh, and I got an A on the project... yay!!

So, yeah... if anyone needs any costume designing, I'm pretty much an expert now. You know who to call... ha!

xoxo
J

I'm out of excuses... and I got nothin'.

I've been out of school for almost a week now, so I can't use that as an excuse as to why I'm not gracing the blogging pages with my profound ramblings... I don't really have too much left to do for Christmas - putting up my mini-tree took all of 1 hour last weekend, I don't mail out cards, I'm not baking this year and my shopping is almost done - so I can't blame Christmas, either... I guess I'm just uninspired to write. And that makes me sad.

"Uninspiration" seems to be the theme of my life over the past four months... some of you may recall my whining at the beginning of the semester about my struggling with ideas for choreography. And I never really mentioned this, but my spiral down the uninspiration drain continued steadily through the semester. The deeper I got the more frustrated I became, which just bred more uninspiration (I love that I'm repeatedly using a word that doesn't really exist!)... I finally finished my dance piece (which I have fun news about, btw!! more below...), but I just wasn't feeling the creative love in classes, with school projects (ooh, ooh, I have follow-up on my costume design project... more below...) and then eventually with my blog. UGH.

I'm still not sure the source of this creative apathy... I think about it a lot because I would love to purge myself or my life of it so I can get the show on the road with the writing and dance projects that are swirling around in my head... but seem stuck there in a nebulous, half-formed fog! But I'm not depressed about it or anything... I'm not wallowing in woe-is-me, self-pity about it all... it just nags at me like a mosquito that I haven't yet whacked. And good lord I'd love to whack that little beyotch...

SO! Fun news about my dance piece and the results of my costume design project... actually, I'm going to save it for tomorrow... mwah ha haaa!! Sorry... I luuuuurve being a little tease...

Toodles until then...

xoxo J

Done with finals and a li'l award...

I'm done I'm done I'm done!

And holy whoa, I have SO much catching up to do with all of your blogs... I miss all your lovely bloggy faces!

I turned in my last final at 9:30 yesterday morning and promptly peaced out of there. And headed straight to the office cave. Back to being a 9-to-5 gal for four weeks... she works hard for the money [do doo, do doo]... so hard for it honey [do doo, do doo]...

Upon getting to work and checking my email, I discovered that the lovely Jen from Welcome to the Jungle surprised me with a blog award! Yay! Here it is:

The rules:
Copy the award image in your post.
Then, list 10 things that make you happy, try to do at least one of them today, and tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day.
For those 10 bloggers who get the award, you must link back to my blog!

10 things that make me a happy li'l camper...

1. Dancing (duh), but not just what I do at school... putting on some tunes that gives me no choice but to get down with my bad self is one of the quickest, easiest ways to make me genuinely happy down to my soul.

2. Good food and drink. I love making it, eating it, sharing it... the way to my heart is definitely through my stomach. Little did the BF know this when he made me the most amazing spread for our first/second date (we disagree on what our first date actually was, lol...). I was his, hook, line and sinker.

3. Beignets. Pronounced "ben-yays" for those who've never experienced these hot little French donuts of heaven. Breakfast is my favorite meal to go out for and my fave place, Lucile's, is known for their beignets. Eaten hot with their homemade strawberry-rhubarb jam, O...M...G....!!

4. Dogs. I love seeing the happy, tail-wagging doggies in the dog park next to where I have classes. They are just so content to repeatedly fetch the balls and sticks thrown by their owners and play with the other dogs. I wish my life were that easy.

5. New Years Eve. I think I get more jazzed about NYE than Christmas. I just love having a damn good time with friends while we eat yummy food and drink champagne (there's that food and drink thing again).

6. Travel. I love the feeling of getting on an airplane and going somewhere. I love seeing new things and meeting new people. Sometimes I get really, really antsy to just hop on a plane and GO... I've been experiencing this a ton lately... I have a very bad case of wanderlust, to the point where it physically hurts sometimes, and I've had this dull ache for weeks and weeks now... le sigh...

7. Warm, sunny weather, and everything associated with it... the pool, my bikini, the ocean, coconut-scented sunscreen, fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them...

8. Big cities... I love the pulse and energy of a big city, the myriad of things to do and see, the huge variety of people and languages and cultures, the shopping... oh, the shopping... dammit, Colorado, where is our H&M???

9. Laughter. It really is the best medicine. Laugh easily and often, I say!

10. My friends and family. They make me laugh, kick my ass when I need it and just plain make life an adventure... and I love me some adventure!

And now I pass this award on to eleven (sometimes I don't follow rules very well!) of my lovelies...

The West Meets Wisconsin

gabby, she wrote

It's Unbeweavable

... love Maegan

the818

The Pilgrim Congress

Iva Messy

life is BANANAS

District of Chic

Brown Girl Blogs

BonBon Rose

Happy Thursday lovelies!!

xoxo J

Quick, I only have 2 seconds!!

I'm buried under finals and birthday stuff... so... busy... no time... for... blogging...

Finals week is actually next week, but in Dance Department world, we started this week... wheeeeee!!

And YES, it's my birthday week!! Oh, heck yes, I celebrate for a week. The actual day was Tuesday... had a nice dinner, dessert and drinks with the BF... tonight I have a dinner theater date with my mom... Saturday night will be birthday margs with friends... LOVE my birthday!! I'm 31. Holy whoa. I don't feel in my 30s, honestly. I still feel like a firecracker 20-something, boo-YA!!

Okay, back to work... I miss you all!! Be back soon!!

xoxo
J

Counting the days...

... 'til my birthday (tomorrow!!)

... 'til the semester is over (this Friday)

... 'til BF's birthday (next Tuesday)

... 'til my last final exam is over (next Wednesday)

... 'til Christmas

... 'til New Year's Eve!

Tick tock, tick tock...

xoxo
J

Sugar and caffeine will see me through!

I made it to the weekend, woohoo! I had a lovely week of poor sleep, so I had a good time this week... schmeh. I hate it when I do this! Bad sleep means I'm anxious about something, but all week I couldn't figure out what I'm anxious about... the BF suggested "everything"... and maybe he's right. There isn't one big thing I'm anxious about, but I think I'm thinking of so many little things that are adding up to be like one big thing. And bam! I sleep like crap.

I woke up again in the middle of the night last night, but at least I was able to sleep in this morning, thanks to it being Saturday. I made myself french toast and it was nice to be able to relax and eat. Now I'm applying heat to my sore muscles as I type before I massage out the soreness... how nice to actually have time to do this! Ideally I would do this everyday, as suggested by dance books and articles I read in order to best take care of my dancer body, but seriously, when?? I'm readying this book called The Dancer's Way, and the end of this sentence made me laugh out loud when I read it: "Further ways to reduce stress include balanced meals, aerobic exercise, and sufficient sleep (ten hours per night is ideal)." Ten hours, huh?? Yeah, SO realistic, thanks. What normal person with work, school, rehearsals, and the thousand other things in life, sleeps ten hours a night?? Puh-lease! That's why sugary, caffeinated beverages were invented, mwah ha ha!! :) [O.M.G. I finally, after mentioning a trillion times here and on Twitter, got myself a caramel brulee latte from the 'Bucks yesterday... so deelish. Nectar-from-heaven deelish. I-want-another-one-today deelish... and tomorrow... and the next day...]


So! Despite my anxiety and crappy sleep, I'm ready to DANCE today! Oh yes... the senior dance concert opened last night. The show went well... dress rehearsal on Thursday night wasn't so great for me, but they say a bad rehearsal means a great show, and last night went much better than Thursday's dress. Hopefully it only gets better today! We have two shows, a matinee at 2 pm and the other at 8 pm. Matinees are not my favorite... typically the audience is meager, which makes the energy for us dancers lower. Generally matinees feel like more of a rehearsal than a performance for us. Nothing beats the energy of a night time performance!

But today will be great, nonetheless. The matinee will get us warmed up for tonight's show, and following tonight's show is a cast party hosted by one of the seniors/choreographers. I'm excited to do a li'l celebrating post-performance tonight!

Happy Saturday everyone!

xoxo

J

I'm a list girl

December rolled in with some snow and single-digit temps... it is COLD out there y'all!. Tomorrow's high will be somewhere around 16 degrees F... yowza!

So. I don't have rehearsal tonight. I'm not held prisoner at the studio until 10 pm. I'm sitting at home and its only 7:15 pm! I don't even know what to do with myself. Oh believe me, there are many things on my to-do list... and I usually have a constant stream of "god, I wish I had time to do this and this and this..."thoughts as I run around like a crazy person... but when I unexpectedly have huge chunks of open time like I do now, I suddenly can't function. I don't know what to do with myself. The to-do list and I-wish-I-had-time items suddenly vanish from my mind and I find myself planted on the couch or in my desk chair staring vapidly at the TV or computer.

Which is why I'm a list girl. If I don't write things down, it's like it never existed. For example, I can't function at the grocery story without a list... I will be on my way there, and if I realize I forgot The List, I will turn around and go back home to get it. Seriously. If I don't, I'll end up with a random assortment of groceries, none of which I can make real meals out of.

So, to ensure I don't stare at the TV like a zombie tonight, here's my list (and a few are already done!)...

* Wash a load of dance clothes to prepare for the upcoming concert - DONE!

* Cook something for tomorrow's lunch - DONE!

* Sew the elastics on my new ballet shoes

* Write a blog post - in progress!

* Pack my dance performance bag for tomorrow's dress rehearsal (makeup, hair stuff, performance clothes, warm-ups...)

* Do some work for my job

I think that's plenty... it's now almost 8 o'clock, and even though I don't I have my late rehearsal, I'm a tired cookie. There's a good chance my motivation might run out very quickly tonight...

December eve!

One more sleep 'til December... a month of my birthday, Christmas, New Year's Eve... I'm pretty jazzed about all this! I love this time of year. I know this is total cheese, but it's magical to me...


But first thing's first... today. Oy! I'm glad the day is over. It wasn't a bad day, necessarily, just a Monday. Ya know? NOBODY wanted to be back at school today. We all had a bad case of the Mondays, blech. But, on the flip side, only 9 more days 'til the semester is DONE! Can I get a woot, woot?! Today was full to the max, but that was anticipated. And now I'm ready to curl under my down comforter and pass out...

Hope you all survived your Mondays. See you tomorrow - December!!

xoxo Jessi

Back to reality...

I absolutely do not want to go back to classes tomorrow!! I could do this Thanksgiving Break thing for another week, ugh... although, I do only have 2 weeks of classes and 1 week of finals left, so I am in the homestretch...

We have the final concert of the semester this week, so nothing like jumping right back into it. The week will be the usual mish-mash of tech rehearsals, dress rehearsals, and shows mixed in with regular classes and work, typical of performance week. But no complaints - I'm glad for the busy-ness because it will make time fly!

AND, after this week, the next week is my birthday!!! Yay!! I have nothing planned yet, but I'm excited nonetheless. I definitely want to celebrate... my birthday last year lacked the typical birthday excitement, thanks to a bad breakup, so this year I want to make up for lost fun and joy! I definitely envision cocktails, food and friends... oh, the possibilities!

Well, time to head out for a late dinner with the BF...

Happy Thanksgiving!

The veggies are chopped. The cranberries are prepared. The pumpkin pie is baked and the crust is ready for the cherry pie, which I'll bake tonight. Time to pack the car and head to Denver... after stopping to grab a bottle of wine (two?) and perhaps a caramel brulee latte from the 'Bucks... over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother's house we go...

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, filled with good food and people you love!

Happy Thanksgiving!!
xoxo
J

I just can't, I just can't, I just can't control my feet...

I have this little problem. I'm a very impressionable person, particularly with music. I couldn't live without music. My parents, my brothers, my grandparents... we are all music people. My earliest memories include music in the forefront, including specific songs. Music is playing all the time... in my car, on my computer, at work, in my ears through the iPod... it moves me. Literally, of course, but it also compliments my life. I often think that my life has its own soundtrack, and sometimes I think about actually putting playlists together and saving them to disc (hmmm, future project??).

But I'm waxing poetic... back to my little problem... you see, the volume of a good tune is directly proportional to the likelihood that I'm going to jump outta my seat and bust a' move without even thinking. Not that getting down with my bad self is a bad thing, per se, but there are some places where exercising some restraint is recommended. Like at the office, for example.

[Haha, I just remembered something... once I was in the copy/mail room at work, waiting for a big copy job to finish, so I started rehearsing some steps instead of just standing there. Thinking I was alone, I really busted it out... right as my boss walked into the room behind me. He was quite amused... and I was rather embarrassed. Ahhh, good times at work...]

Anyhoo... I'm doing the 9-to-5 thing this week since I'm on break, and while I appreciate the opportunity to just sit and chill for a change, I need my tunes to get me through the day. This week I've been all about MJ, Janet and The Jackson 5, thanks to This Is It on Sunday. And I realized today that some songs are better played quietly in the office, if I want to avoid causing a scene.

Such as...?? Glad you asked! Here is an abridged sampling of Jackson songs that I have to handle with care, ranging from a slight tease to full on danger (but in no particular order)...

Blame it on the Boogie (I really can't control my feet...)


Billy Jean (oh, she caused a scene all right...)


Dancing Machine (she's super bad now... yes, yes she is...!)


Bad (if I had the time/money, I'd SO rock this shiz for Halloween next year...)


Nasty (Miss Jackson if ya nasty...)


Scream (this was on replay all day today... I'm not going to admit how many times I played it...)


This list is nowhere near complete... but you get the idea. And the majority of today's pop acts...? Please. The only AMA performances that did anything for me (read: made me jump off the couch and shake my money maker or gave me chills) were Janet's and Whitney's. You gotta bring more game than that, Gaga. Boo-ya! (Ooh, someone's got her sassy pants on tonight... nothin' but love, y'all!)

xoxo J

Movie marathon weekend

My weekend can be summed up in one short word: L-A-Z-Y.

My movie-and-TV-show marathon on Saturday may or may not have been influenced by the margs and daiquiris consumed on Friday night (mwah-ha-ha!), but hot diggety I milked it for all it was worth... first up was catching up with the latest Grey's Anatomy episode, which I missed last week. Then all three Pirates of the Caribbean movies were on TV and kept me glued to the couch (hottie Johnny Depp makes me want to shiver his timbers... teehee!), and just when I thought I was O-D'ed on the flicks, I decided to seek out Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on the interwebs (thank you TV Shack!). I did get off the couch long enough to make food and take a shower... but all I did was put on clean sweats post-shower, ha!


Sunday I pared it down to two movies... I finally saw Michael Jackson's This is It. I love him. I don't care how wacko people think the late Jacko was, the man was an artistic genius. Watching him work in his element was SO. Effing. Inspiring! When I left the theater I wanted to head straight to the studio and start rehearsing and working on my own dancing... instead I did some costume design sketching like a good li'l student, *sigh*... Oh MJ, you are missed and loved!!


Then it was Quentin Tarantino time with the BF... Reservoir Dogs. Ugh, hated it. I'm sorry to any QT fans, but I'm not so convinced that he's some cinematic genius. Pulp Fiction was alright, and Kill Bill was okay, too, but I never leave his films feeling enlightened or anything. And the amount of blood makes me nauseous. I'm a Milk Dud girl at the movie theater, and Kill Bill made me want to toss my Duds right back up. I wish I hadn't watched Reservoir Dogs and just left my movie weekend on a good note with the King of Pop. Oh well, it was for the BF :)

I'm not a huge movie person... I like movies, but I don't watch them very often, so I'm impressed that I made it through so many in two days. I think I definitely hit my quote this weekend! And now back to normal life...

Turkey time!

Yes, I know it's early... but the apartment building I live in is hosting a Thanksgiving dinner tonight for all the residents. They do this every year and I love it. I live in international student housing, so many of the residents have never experienced Thanksgiving and it's quite fun to see what they all think.

Um, can I get a big WOOT, WOOT for the weekend?!?!? Ugh, whatta week. Nothing catastrophic happened, it was just long... I slept like CRAP all week, which just makes getting through everything miserable, and I was doing the its-almost-break-countdown, which just makes it all the longer. But now Thanksgiving Break has officially begun, yippeee!! Nine days off from classes!



After my turkey dinner tonight, I'm off to kick back with a marg or two with my school dance friends... the perfect way to kick off break, methinks!

Happy Friday everyone!!
xoxo J

Delusions of costume designs

(First off, I know I'm sucking it up big time with NaBloPoMo... but whatevs. I've got shiz to do... like sit around and be uber-lazy over the weekend, lol!)

My weekend recap... did some dancin' (Fall Dance Concert, holla!!), did some sleeping, watched some Broncos lose, ugh (seriously, guys, you were doing just fine in the first half, but then left your game in the locker room during halftime or somethin' - L-A-M-E!), ate some food, got some groceries, watched some movies... um, yep, that pretty much sums it up. So much for working on my costume design final project.

Speaking of. Okay. For my final project I have to design a dance costume for Romeo & Juliet, picking any time setting that I want. I decided to go with a bit of ancient Greco-Roman fla-vuh and rock it tunic style. You don't want too elaborate a costume for dance, so I thought a tunic would be perfecto. I found a pic to help inspire my design...


Pretty sweet, yes?? I think this would be rockin' to perform in, especially that flowy bit of arm business... it would create such striking lines and effects on stage. And I like alotta leg on stage, so short is good. And that braid?? Love it.

Anywho... so I have to find a pattern that somewhat resembles this, as well as find fabric, cut it out and sew it. I figured a short tunic would be kinda simple and not too difficult, and then the flowy arm business is just some draping. Now, the most sewing I do are ribbons and elastics on my ballet shoes, and rogue buttons that have jumped ship from my clothes, so we'll see how "kinda simple" this really ends up being. I'm starting to worry that I'm a bit delusional in what I want to do... but first things first... I have to find a pattern and the fabric before I worry about cutting and sewing.

I put off going to the fabric store all weekend. I did not, and still do not, want to sift through pattern after pattern, and then try to figure out what kind of fabric would be best (read: nothing insanely difficult for a sewing virgin such as myself). I made myself go tonight, though, since I'm supposed to bring my pattern and fabric to class tomorrow morning. I walked into that store and felt like a deer in headlights. I didn't even know where to start, and I was too intimidated to ask for help (stupid, I know). I wandered around until I found the patterns. I looked through a couple racks of $2.95 patterns, but no dice. I then sat down and thumbed through a couple huge pattern books, and started to think I was on to something... I found a few dress patterns that weren't 100% right, but I thought maybe I could alter them with the help of my teacher... but then I looked at the price of those patterns - $15.95!! Are you effing kidding me?!? Helllllll no. I didn't even make it to the bolts of fabric. Seeyalater, bye!

I wasn't off to a good start to begin with... I love shopping and scoring cool shiz like any other gal, but I am not an endurance shopper. I hate digging for too long or through too much to find what I'm looking for. If I don't find it in a couple hours max, I check out and head home. The fabric store only got about 20 minutes of my time tonight.

So now what?? Well, I'm going to see how the interwebs may help me... online patterns have to exist, yes? And then if I have to, I will plea with my teach about how clueless I am with all this, and to throw me a bone. Which just means ask if she might help me design something from scratch... which seems like it would be more difficult, but the thought of going back to the fabric store gives me a major tick.

And seriously, if anyone out there has any degree of sewing/designing/DIY experience (ahem, Maegan...!) and has some words of wisdom for me, I'm all ears!!!

No funky juju!

So, what does a girl do when she has nothing to write about, but feelin' the pressure to write since it's NaBloPoMo?? I didn't have anything to write about yesterday either, hence my absence from the blogosphere. I guess I could talk about something dance-related, since that is what this blog is about...

I had the Fall Concert dress rehearsal last night, which went waaaaay late. There were a handful of mini-dramas and everyone was grumpy in general... the faculty, the tech crew, us dancers... so that made for a long, awkward night. Ugh. I hope tonight has better juju. Funky juju isn't good for a performance... the audience can pick up on the funky energy and the show can fall flat. No funky juju allowed for tonight's show - or tomorrow night's, either! But they say that a not-so-hot rehearsal means the show will be great. Fingers crossed!

It's snowing again, so all I want to do is get cozy in my sweats, read a book and drink hot beverages. And cook and bake. I think the weather is supposed to be dreary and wet all weekend, though, so maybe I'll get a chance to do these things. Oh, but maybe not... I have my costume design final project that I must start working on... I have to find a pattern and fabric and then start sketching my templates... maybe I'll work on this while I watch the Broncos on Sunday. I also need to work. And I'd like to see the BF at some point. Oy vay. Anyone else think that weekends should be extended to three days???

What does everyone have on their weekend agendas??

Happy Friday!!
xoxo J

Check it!!

Hey HEY! I'm tickled pink to announce that li'l ol' me got my first guest blogging post published today!!! Go check out the FAB-u-lush Midtown Girl (LUV this girl!) for her weekly "Single in my City" series. I was VERY flattered to be asked and had a lot of fun answering her questions all about dating life here in the FoCo... and yes, I know I'm technically not single anymore (don't worry babe, I mention that in the interview!), but I go out and about enough to be part of the FoCo's nightlife, AND people watching is one of my fave past times. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU again, Midtown Girl, for asking me to feature my city in your Single in the City series!!

And in other good news for the day... I just love synchronicity. Sometimes God just knows what I need. As usual, I'm sore, tired and my attitude towards some of my classes and professors isn't on par this week... so wouldn't you know it, instead of holding regular class, my modern dance professor decided to give us a yoga/stretch/massage day (er, he didn't give us massages... um, yeah, weird... he had us partner with each other and we're all chums in there... just clarifyin'...). And then at the end, he had us lay on the floor to completely relax in meditation - i.e. we all got mini-naps! It was deelish.

You know what else is deelish?? Two-shot soy caramel macchiato's... thank you, Starbucks. Yep, a li'l mid-week splurge for myself! And thank you baristas for not forgetting my two shots of espresso today... this happened last week, and lordy mama was not happy when she realized it halfway through. When I ask for two shots of espresso, there's a darn good reason yo!

(um, yes please?!?!)

Hope everyone's week is going well!

xoxo J

It's nice and all, but....

I get the point of NaBloPoMo... motivate people to write on their blogs more frequently... but sometimes quantity negates quality...

Take this post for instance. Not a lot of substance.

I could

drag out

my sentences

to make it seem

longer...

but then that's just annoying.

So, yes, today's post is lame, as I don't have much to say, but since it's NaBloPoMo, I gotta get something on the page. And I'm heading to the BF's for dinner, which means I'm signing off of the interwebs for the night. I'm really tired, hella sore and I've been rockin' one doozy of a headache all day today, so while there are a few things I could (read: should) do tonight, I think some chill time with the fella is the better prescription.

See ya tomorrow!

Oh yeah! NaBloPoMo and another dance concert

Whoa, whoa, whoa... NaBloPoMo already?!?!

Um, yeah, I'm a little behind the times here... but whatever. No way in Hades am I going to pull off blog posts for the days I've missed but that doesn't mean I can't jump in and get-'er-done for the rest of the month. And awaaaaaay we go!

Nothing too exciting to report here... oh wait! Yes there is. My Student Dance Concert piece got selected to be featured in the Fall Dance Concert! I was one of four that was selected, out of 15. Not too shabby! So what I thought was going to be a chill week last week wasn't so chill, but it a-okay, because my piece got picked! Never in a trillion years did I think that was ever going to happen... not because I don't think I'm good enough, but because my style is a bit diff than everyone else's. I like to use mainstream music with lyrics (the faculty don't love this - oh, the horror!) and my movement tends to be more "pedestrian" or "vernacular", depending on who you ask... which just means you can see my hip hop/African/swing dancing background in my work. I don't make apologies for my style, but when it comes to school, I just don't expect to be picked for the Fall/Spring concerts. But I did! And I'm tickled pink.

This week's agenda... tech rehearsals tonight through Wednesday, dress rehearsal Thursday night, show time Friday and Saturday. And sweet jesus, Thanksgiving Break is only two weeks from now. Bring on the turkey and football and laying around in my jammies!

(Oh, and P.S.... I have a new project that I'm really excited about! I will fill you in sometime later this week... Have a fab week, y'all! xoxo!)

Miss you

Dear Blog,

I miss you. I had various posts in mind each day all last week, including the Aspen Adventures update and Halloween pics that I've promised my lovely readers... but then life got in the way. Just when I thought life would calm the eff down a bit with Student Dance Concert being done, my piece had to go and get selected to for Fall Dance Concert (!!!) and calm eluded me once again. This week will be more hectic than last, with tech and dress rehearsals and all, but hells bells, I'm going to try! Don't give up on me, dear Blog...

xoxo,
J

Happy Halloween!

I'm heading out for my night o' Halloween festivities. I'm very excited to be going out and partyin' like it's 1999... after this month of craziness and stress, I need to let loose fo' sho'. Going to live it up with dancing, cocktails, friends and fun!

And what am I dressed as?? The SOLAR SYSTEM!! Teehee, I'm so tickled with this costume!! It's made of a navy blue tutu, with styrofoam planets attached to it, all which are painted and glittered. I have a tee with a sparkly sun painted on the front and a glittery moon painted on the back. It's made complete with black tights and silver ballet flats. I wish I could take cred for this genius costume, but it's a dance friend's... she offered it to me on Thursday when I was wondering what the heck I was going to go as. Too much fun!! I hope to get some pics this evening to share with you all.

Have a safe, fun and Happy Halloween everyone!!

Snow can't keep us down!

Night #1 of Student Dance Concert went well tonight, and the audience was bigger than we expected, considering the huge-ass snow storm we got Wednesday and today. About 21" fell here in the FoCo!

I did almost fall out of this turn-jump thing I do in the beginning of my piece, but the friend who came to see me tonight attested that she didn't notice at all. Sweet! 'Cause I hate hate hate messing up... yep, the perfectionist thing again. But they say if you mess up one night, the next night will be fine, because you worked out the juju's... I hope I got my juju's exorcised, 'cause the BF will be coming to see me dance tomorrow night, and I want to astound him with my dancing prowess - ha!

Anyhoodle, one night down, one more to go. Then Halloween is ON, like DONKEY KONG!!! OMG. Kinda excited. Finally figured out my costume, just this evening... I'm going to wait 'til the weekend to reveal what it is... it's simple, but clever and cute, and it involves a tutu - teeheehee!!! :)

Nighty nite, y'all... Friday is almost upon us!

xoxo Jessi

On hold until futher notice... in the meantime, cookies

The Aspen update, that is. Not because I'm lazy and putting it off, but because for once I'd like to include pics with my post... and since I don't have a camera (lame, I know) I rely on stealing my friends' pictures from Facebook... so until the rest of the Tour crew posts their photos on their respective Facebooks, no Aspen post. Hopefully they will load them soon.

In the meantime...

Yesterday kicked me square in the arse. It was just a bad day all around... I was exhausted, classes were terrible and nothing was going right. I was ready to blow a gasket by the time I got home last night around 10. So as I drove home from work tonight I decided to take advantage of a rare occasion - an entire evening open, gasp! - and play in the kitchen. Cooking and baking are huge stress relievers for me. I love being in my kitchen. I rarely get to cook these days and I really miss it.

Tonight I baked oatmeal cranberry cookies and the process was the perfect antidote to yesterday. I don't think I've been this relaxed in a long time... and I mean both physically and mentally. Sometimes I think that the mental strain of my schedule hits me harder than the physical. That thought occurred to me last night while in my last rehearsal of the day. I was fighting with my body to just move, as I had been fighting with it all day long. My body checked out during my first class yesterday, which made for a v-e-r-y long day... hello?? arms? legs? you guys want to join me today, do some dancing maybe?? I didn't understand what was going on, as I had slept fine the night before (or so I thought) and I didn't dance throughout the day as much as I usually do on Mondays. Then it hit me - I think the mental stress of the preceding weeks (Student Dance Concert prep, Tour, the trip to Aspen) was finally catching up to me physically. I thought, crap, if I don't calm the eff down, I'm going to get sick or injured. And then I thought, I need to get my arse into the kitchen.

And so I did.

I am the worst blogger of all time

Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But seriously. I meant to write a post all about the Aspen adventures of last week, but other things distracted me this weekend... sleep, laundry, the BF, rehearsals, sleep... so, it's postponed yet another day. Sorry my loves.

So much is on my mind, though. SO. MUCH. So I'm thinking a brain-dump here on the ol' blog might behoove my quality of sleep tonight. Here goes...

Money is a nasty li'l beyotch that I'd love to punch square in the throat. I'm having some big money troubles, and had to call a family member to ask for help. I hate asking for money. HATE it with a fiery, burning passion. Especially because I'm 30 and should not have to call home for money. So lame. And humiliating. I also spent the day wracking my brain and scouring the apartment for stuff I can spare in the way of selling... camping stuff, rock climbing gear, my drawing table (that one kills me)... I've even gone so far as to considering selling my car. But I don't think that's really a good idea. I think that's the desperation talking.

I haven't been to hip hop class/rehearsal since, oh, sometime in late August or early September. Can't remember, it's been so long. And for anyone who knows me or who has been following me for awhile knows that my hip hop is my church. Why have I been foregoing Sunday night church? See above said money probs. My car is in need of major, hella expensive repairs that I'm nowhere near affording, and driving my Civic on the interstate would be playing a game of Russian roulette at 75 mph - I'd like to live to see 31, thankyouverymuch. Oh, and the car repairs are not what I had to call home asking for money for... the car is #2 on the big-ticket list. SIGH. So yeah, not happy about my absence in hip hop-alicious.

Student Dance Concert is this week! Tech rehearsals tomorrow night, dress rehearsal Wednesday night, then show time Thursday and Friday. Thank god it's almost over. I've struggled with this one... struggled with choreography (remember the case of the missing dance mojo?? Yeah, it never really fully showed back up...), struggled with time, struggled with being happy with what I have to present to the masses come Thursday, worried about if my friends and fam will like it... or rather, worried that they'll just think it sucks. Oh, the life of a perfectionist!

Not sure why, but today I really started jonesin' for a New York minute. The BF and I were talking about life in general last night, and I suddenly remembered that I almost moved to NYC back in 2003 (or was it 2004?). I had forgotten all about that. Wow, what the hell would I be doing now if I was kickin' it in the Big Apple?? Probably trying to be a writer of sorts (that's my first degree, btw). It's kinda fun to think about, but also kinda sad because I chose not to go for a guy I met around that time, and we're clearly not together anymore. Not the first or last time I changed or neglected my own life plans for a guy... and clearly that's worked out so well for me... but I digress. A couple weeks ago the BF and I were talking about winter break plans, and a short trip to NYC came up... I've always wanted to see New York around Christmas and/or New Years, and he's never been there. And since he and I didn't get to go on our li'l weekend excursion, we thought, let's save our money and make NYC happen! How much fun would that be?!? Great idea... until above said money probs decided to be a little beyotch and rain on my parade.

[Doc? May I have a prescription for this??]

So. Hopefully my pissy 'tude doesn't scare you all off, and hopefully this stress-mind-dump will help ensure that I will pass out into blissful slumber with no problems. Wish me luck.

Back from Aspen

And so tired I can barely see straight. Yowza, touring is exhausting. I have adventures to share with you all and many of your blogs to catch up with, but I'm afraid it will have to wait. Sleep is screaming my name... so until I'm rested...

My premier world tour!!!

Haha, JUST kidding. SO not "world"... not even national or state-wide... we are just heading up to Aspen for the week. And by we I mean Tour Dance Company. It's our first trip of the semester. Even though it's not world-wide - someday, someday... - it's still pretty cool that I get to spend the week in Aspen. I'm nervous about things, of course... did I remember all my costumes? do I have enough warm clothes? did I remember mascara? (yes, I hope and yes)...

I'm stressin' about remembering all the choreo and not messing it up, of course - I have serious anxiety about upsetting our professor who leads Tour. No wait. My BIGGEST concern is doing this trust-fall-from-kinda-high-up move that we've never practiced with me (I'm understudy for it) - hella scary. But whaddya gonna do? Balls to the wall and go for it, that's what! Boo-ya!!

Okay, I have to finish last-minute packing and fractically re-checking my bags... I'll be MIA 'round these parts 'til Friday, so have a FAB week and I'll see ya when I get back!! (If I had been on top of it, I would've scheduled some guest-blogging, but I'm not on top of it... next tour! lol.)

Mwah!!
xoxo J

Love/hate

Ballet.

I love it, but I don't.

When done well, it is completely breathtaking. I first fell in love with the ballet when I was thirteen, when my uncle took me to see the Colorado Ballet's Nutcracker for my birthday. I left clutching the Nutcracker doll he bought for me with stars in my eyes, imagining myself to be one of the ballerinas floating around stage in a sparkly tutu and glittery tiara.

Never did I realize how technical and demanding and difficult ballet was/is until I started taking it two years ago. I will admit that as I got older and started playing sports, I got cocky, thinking, "oh, ballet dancers... what a bunch of ninnies... play a real sport..." Psshh. I had no idea. NONE. When I started taking ballet two years ago, I acquired an entirely new appreciation for the ballerinas (and guy ballet dancers), for under all that glitter and sparkle is hours, months, YEARS of hard, hard work. Harder than anything I have ever known. Soccer and tennis and softball ain't got nothin' on ballet.

Consider this: a dancer not only has to rock it physically and mentally like other athletes, but they also have to pull it off with panache and artistry in order to make it look effortless and beautiful.

But even with my newly acquired respect for ballet, ballet and I aren't the best of friends. I do it because I have to, because I should... it is the best technical foundation for all my other forms of dance... but that sucks, because I would like to say "I do it because I want to" (god, even maybe "like" or "love"). So far, that hasn't been the case.

I'm not great at ballet and it frustrates the hell out of me. I want to be good at ballet. I hate not doing something well, particularly when it's something I care about. Granted, I started this technical dance adventure (I did dance before that, just more vernacular street styles) at the good ol' age of 28 - it's not like I've trained in ballet since I was young, which would have allowed my body to "grow" into the technique. So I should give myself some breathing room. But I don't. I want my feet to point more than they do, I want beautiful arms and hands, I'd like my legs to stay turned out as I do the exercises...

None of these are impossible to attain, and I'm working on them. Every. Single. Day. But goddamn, it's slow, and I'm not a patient girl.

My struggle with ballet is also influenced by my ballet teachers here at school, who have kept me in the same level I started at two years ago. Now I know my ballet technique is far from perfect and I have many miles to go on this road of pointe shoes and tutus, BUT I shouldn't be in this class anymore. I know it, my peers know it. It's ree-donk-ulous. And hella frustrating. I only get so far in learning because I keep starting over again each semester. I'm stuck in some alternate-universe ballet twilight zone.

But then something happened... the planets aligned just so and I enjoyed ballet today... I had FUN. I felt GIDDY afterwards. All thanks to the State Street Ballet Company who stopped in the FoCo on their tour and taught a master class, giving us CSU students a taste of what it's like to actually enjoy a ballet class.

Not only that, though... I am usually so discouraged in my ballet classes, always thinking I suck so badly, but today was different. I kept up with everyone just fine. And at one point during the class I thought, I can do this, I can do ballet. If I really busted my ass, I could actually get shiz done in ballet. Seriously. The dilemma is getting out of this cursed beginning level...

Tonight I get to see them perform Cinderella! I am so excited. I get to go to the ballet!!! I'm anticipating feeling the usual butterflies I get when I go to the ballet... a mix of wanting to dance like those girls on stage, as well as the simple magic that is the ballet. At least for me. I love it.