I'm in "gotta make some extra money fast" mode, as the finances have, well, reached a scary level. I'm trying to sell old clothes, accessories and some other things of mine via eBay, Craigslist and local consignment shops. I'm a newbie at this selling/consigning thing, so it's been interesting so far. I took two full bags of clothes to Plato's Closet (is this a national chain?) last night, hoping for about $20 in return... uhh, it didn't exactly go as planned. They bought one thing from me - one! - and I made a whopping $2.80. So frustrating. While the clothes were name brands they take, the store clerk told me that they are a bit too old (they want things that have been purchased no more than about a year ago) and too "sophisticated", as in my clothes don't cater to the teen/young adult clientele Plato's Closet focuses on. Alrighty. Never thought I had sophisticated style, but whatever...
That was only Round One, so I'm not giving up yet... I have many more clothes and a bunch of accessories that I'm going to take back there for Round Two tomorrow night. Heck, maybe I'll make another $2.80???? And I'm going to attempt to sell the clothes that are "too sophisticated" at a local consignment shop here in town. If that doesn't work, then I might make like a crazy person, set up a table on some street corner, and sell my stuff garage sale-style on the corner. It's kinda hard to have a bonafide garage sale when living in an apartment, so...
I went to my dad's for dinner Monday night, thanks to a night off from ballet, and since he's moving his house is in pre-moving disarray. He's getting rid of stuff and giving me and my brothers our stuff that we've stored there. He sent me home with my golf clubs, which have been sitting in his garage for who-knows-how-long. I will be selling those bad boys on Craigslist. The only reason I bought them in the first place, many, many moons ago, was to appease my dad by playing golf with him, but I don't really like golf and I will most likely not golf again anytime soon, so they should go to a home that will use them... and give me money in exchange.
Lastly, there's eBay... I have a bunch of repro, "vintage" Coco-Cola stuff that I will attempt to sell as well. Hopefully that puts more than $2.80 in my pocket.
Somehow I'm going to survive these next couple weeks, $2.80 at a time...
And stay tuned later tonight for this week's Wednesday night review of So You Think You Can Dance... dance... dance...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tag, you're IT!
As I dashed from the office to my dad's for dinner earlier this evening, I realized that when I posted my 10 random tidbits, I forgot to tag another bunch of lucky bloggers to pass on the fun.
So, ...love Maegan, An Explorer's View of Life (if you feel up to it), That Baldy Fella, Baking Epiphanies, Joy the Baker, lemette world, Just Jules, Steaming Pile, trippin' through life, W.O.W., and Working Girl - have at it!
So, ...love Maegan, An Explorer's View of Life (if you feel up to it), That Baldy Fella, Baking Epiphanies, Joy the Baker, lemette world, Just Jules, Steaming Pile, trippin' through life, W.O.W., and Working Girl - have at it!
10 Juicy Tidbits
I was recently tagged by Jen to list 10 random things about me. I'm not sure how juicy they really are, but I got your attention and got you here, didn't I? So, without further ado...
1. I'm fanatical about making my bed. I don't like going to bed with the covers all bunched up and messy - I love the feeling of slipping my legs between two smooth, cool sheets after a long day. Bunched up sheets and blankets don't feel good and I actually have a hard time relaxing if they are! I will even make my bed right before going to bed at night if I didn't have time to make it in the morning. Crazy, I know!
2. My favorite word in Spanish is mocos, which means boogers. I love it!
3. I speak a tiny bit of several languages... Spanish, French, German and even a phrase in Ukrainian. I wish I were fluent in French, Italian, Russian and German. I love languages and actually pick them up fairly well, I've just never spent enough time with one to learn it well.
4. I'm not buying that Lady Gaga is this hot new pop artist, and I think I may be one of the very few. Seriously people, she's not that amazing. Oh, and while we're at it, I feel the same way about The Pussycat Dolls. Sure they're hot and sex sells, but any talented music producer can edit the crap out of someone's singing and make them sound a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Their live performance on SYTYCD last summer was awful.
5. I'm an absolute pain in the neck when I'm hungry... moody, emotional, impatient, distracted. My blood sugar crashes and so do I - I lose all ability to function as a normal adult. It's stupid, yes, but I don't have a ton of control over it, other than making sure to always have snacks around me. I've acquired the nickname "Jessizilla" by my friends. Just feed me NOW and no one gets hurt!
6. When my body craps out on me someday and I can no longer dance, my next career will be the host of my own cooking show on Food Network. I will call it something like "Cocktails and Confections" - martinis and desserts! [If anyone steals my idea, I will hunt you down and you will be very, very sorry...]
7. I'm not allergic, but wasps and hornets and yellow jackets scare the crap out of me (but not honey or bumble bees, strangely), and when one is flying around me, I run away screaming like a little girl. I know you're not supposed to do that, but I have no control over it - it's a panic reflex.
8. I've wanted to be a wife and mother since I was old enough to realize that boys didn't have cooties and they were actually kind of cute. I mean, whenever I would play Barbies, Ken and Barbie would get married, get it on on their honeymoon(yep, my Barbies made out), and live happily ever after in their house. I'm getting rather impatient for that phase of my life to begin, but that's a sensitive subject, so let's move on...
9. I melt in the presence of chubby babies with curly hair - they are the most adorable EVER, so I hope I have chubby curly-haired babies. (I'm not worried about the chub, especially if they get their mama's appetite, so let's hope the future Hubs has curly hair or it's in his genes...) Wait, I was supposed to move on from this subject...
10. I hate celery. Loathe it. It's disgusting... the crunch, the flavor, the strings... ugh [*shudder*]...
1. I'm fanatical about making my bed. I don't like going to bed with the covers all bunched up and messy - I love the feeling of slipping my legs between two smooth, cool sheets after a long day. Bunched up sheets and blankets don't feel good and I actually have a hard time relaxing if they are! I will even make my bed right before going to bed at night if I didn't have time to make it in the morning. Crazy, I know!
2. My favorite word in Spanish is mocos, which means boogers. I love it!
3. I speak a tiny bit of several languages... Spanish, French, German and even a phrase in Ukrainian. I wish I were fluent in French, Italian, Russian and German. I love languages and actually pick them up fairly well, I've just never spent enough time with one to learn it well.
4. I'm not buying that Lady Gaga is this hot new pop artist, and I think I may be one of the very few. Seriously people, she's not that amazing. Oh, and while we're at it, I feel the same way about The Pussycat Dolls. Sure they're hot and sex sells, but any talented music producer can edit the crap out of someone's singing and make them sound a-m-a-z-i-n-g. Their live performance on SYTYCD last summer was awful.
5. I'm an absolute pain in the neck when I'm hungry... moody, emotional, impatient, distracted. My blood sugar crashes and so do I - I lose all ability to function as a normal adult. It's stupid, yes, but I don't have a ton of control over it, other than making sure to always have snacks around me. I've acquired the nickname "Jessizilla" by my friends. Just feed me NOW and no one gets hurt!
6. When my body craps out on me someday and I can no longer dance, my next career will be the host of my own cooking show on Food Network. I will call it something like "Cocktails and Confections" - martinis and desserts! [If anyone steals my idea, I will hunt you down and you will be very, very sorry...]
7. I'm not allergic, but wasps and hornets and yellow jackets scare the crap out of me (but not honey or bumble bees, strangely), and when one is flying around me, I run away screaming like a little girl. I know you're not supposed to do that, but I have no control over it - it's a panic reflex.
8. I've wanted to be a wife and mother since I was old enough to realize that boys didn't have cooties and they were actually kind of cute. I mean, whenever I would play Barbies, Ken and Barbie would get married, get it on on their honeymoon(yep, my Barbies made out), and live happily ever after in their house. I'm getting rather impatient for that phase of my life to begin, but that's a sensitive subject, so let's move on...
9. I melt in the presence of chubby babies with curly hair - they are the most adorable EVER, so I hope I have chubby curly-haired babies. (I'm not worried about the chub, especially if they get their mama's appetite, so let's hope the future Hubs has curly hair or it's in his genes...) Wait, I was supposed to move on from this subject...
10. I hate celery. Loathe it. It's disgusting... the crunch, the flavor, the strings... ugh [*shudder*]...
Friday, June 12, 2009
From ballet to hip hop
Ahhhh, another Friday. Not only do I wake up in a happy mood because of the day, but today had a little extra pep in it because when I peeked out the window to assess the weather situation, the sky was blue and sun was out! I was amazed. And pleased to be reminded of what Colorado is really supposed to be like... I was starting to forget...
Ballet has been a little... I won't say "easier", as ballet is never really easy... less panic-inducing with each passing day this week. I finally felt like I was getting back into the dance class groove last night - thank goodness! Class was physically hard on Monday, yes, and taking a month off was not smart, no, but part of Monday's reality check was not just the physical aspect, but also the pace and level of the class. The professor who is teaching this class is CSU's ballet mistress (read: advanced) and I am not used to this level. She moves fast and the exercises are not simple. Not only did I feel out of shape on Monday, but I also felt like a discombobulated deer in headlights. Learning combinations and remembering the sequence of exercises is something you learn to do better the more you do it, just like learning the movement itself. The sinking feeling I had earlier this week as class time approached is dissipating.
I get a three-day break from ballet (no class on Monday), but not a break from dancing... Tomorrow is the hip hop crew's monthly practice-at-the-gym rehearsal (LOVE the bouncy gymnastics floor!), and then we're going out dancing after! I'm excited - I haven't been out dancing in Denver for a long time. Then normal class/rehearsal on Sunday.
And in honor of my weekend of hip hop adventures, here's my latest song obsession: Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas. I cannot get enough of this song... seriously. I was pretty jazzed that the SYTYCD Top 20 opened last night's show with it (I jumped off of the couch in excitement, no joke). It makes me want to hit it pretty hard and LOSE MY MIND in a dance club. Maybe I'll get my chance this weekend... This song should only be listened to loud and with some solid bass... so crank it and ENJOY!
Ballet has been a little... I won't say "easier", as ballet is never really easy... less panic-inducing with each passing day this week. I finally felt like I was getting back into the dance class groove last night - thank goodness! Class was physically hard on Monday, yes, and taking a month off was not smart, no, but part of Monday's reality check was not just the physical aspect, but also the pace and level of the class. The professor who is teaching this class is CSU's ballet mistress (read: advanced) and I am not used to this level. She moves fast and the exercises are not simple. Not only did I feel out of shape on Monday, but I also felt like a discombobulated deer in headlights. Learning combinations and remembering the sequence of exercises is something you learn to do better the more you do it, just like learning the movement itself. The sinking feeling I had earlier this week as class time approached is dissipating.
I get a three-day break from ballet (no class on Monday), but not a break from dancing... Tomorrow is the hip hop crew's monthly practice-at-the-gym rehearsal (LOVE the bouncy gymnastics floor!), and then we're going out dancing after! I'm excited - I haven't been out dancing in Denver for a long time. Then normal class/rehearsal on Sunday.
And in honor of my weekend of hip hop adventures, here's my latest song obsession: Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas. I cannot get enough of this song... seriously. I was pretty jazzed that the SYTYCD Top 20 opened last night's show with it (I jumped off of the couch in excitement, no joke). It makes me want to hit it pretty hard and LOSE MY MIND in a dance club. Maybe I'll get my chance this weekend... This song should only be listened to loud and with some solid bass... so crank it and ENJOY!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
SYTYCD Thursday Results Show
WHEW! All five of "my" couples were safe tonight!!! Vitolio, whom I was nervous about and kind of had a feeling would be in the bottom three to "dance for his life", pulled through. Okay Vitolio, you gotta bring it next week with the personality that we all know is in there, no screwing around. Again, whew!
Tony and Paris, the couple who did the not-so-great hip hop last night, were eliminated. I was sad for them, as I always am for the eliminatees, but not that surprised. I didn't think Paris' dance-for-her-life solo was that hot, so I just had a feeling the judges would say goodbye. I thought it was a fair toss-up between the two boys, Jonathan and Tony, though... Jonathan's latin number was fun in spots, but not caliente enough I didn't think... Tony did a locking routine for his solo, which wasn't too bad actually. In fact, I thought he did a decent job (I disagree with Nigel's comment that he didn't lock that well, but since Nigel's getting paid the big bucks and I'm just a b-girl-in-training, what he says goes, lol). Decent isn't good enough in this competition, though, so the judges will have Jonathan stay and say goodbye to Tony.
So, goodbye to Tony and Paris, and best of luck... don't let this keep you from both pursuing your dreams in dance! Like Cat said, it's just the beginning. And really, it is - I mean, how many people can cay they danced in the SYTYCD Top 20??
And now I must wait an entire week until the Top 18 strut their stuff on stage... SIGH...
Tony and Paris, the couple who did the not-so-great hip hop last night, were eliminated. I was sad for them, as I always am for the eliminatees, but not that surprised. I didn't think Paris' dance-for-her-life solo was that hot, so I just had a feeling the judges would say goodbye. I thought it was a fair toss-up between the two boys, Jonathan and Tony, though... Jonathan's latin number was fun in spots, but not caliente enough I didn't think... Tony did a locking routine for his solo, which wasn't too bad actually. In fact, I thought he did a decent job (I disagree with Nigel's comment that he didn't lock that well, but since Nigel's getting paid the big bucks and I'm just a b-girl-in-training, what he says goes, lol). Decent isn't good enough in this competition, though, so the judges will have Jonathan stay and say goodbye to Tony.
So, goodbye to Tony and Paris, and best of luck... don't let this keep you from both pursuing your dreams in dance! Like Cat said, it's just the beginning. And really, it is - I mean, how many people can cay they danced in the SYTYCD Top 20??
And now I must wait an entire week until the Top 18 strut their stuff on stage... SIGH...
SYTYCD Top 20 Wednesday Follow Up
** I'm going to try to post my own li'l review each week about the SYTYCD episodes. *Try* being the operative word here. And my attempts will be with the goal of posting on the same evening the show airs so it's so-fresh-and-so-clean in my mind... we shall see how this goes! **
Auditions have wrapped up, the Top 20 have been selected in Vegas, and now it's time for the dancers to get down with their bad selves in hopes of winning the hearts of viewers to become this season's "America's Favorite Dancer".
Overall, this season is going to rock. Granted I said that last year, but that's beside the point. This group is fantastic, from talent and skill to personality and charisma, which is going to make it hard to vote. Case in point: I voted for five couples last night. Five. I'm not even sure if that's kosher, but I couldn't help myself - I couldn't decide! Yowza, it's going to be an exciting summer for us SYTYCD-ophiles...
Anywho...
The dancers who are starting to make their way onto the "Jessi's Favorites" list:
Evan Kasprzak - this kid's style is classic Broadway. Think OLD-school, like Gene Kelly. Love this kid, he's adorable. Not only can he get it done onstage, he looks like he's having fun up there. I'm a big fan of dancers who look like they're loving what they're doing (believe me, I've seen dancers who look bored or miserable on stage... sad). AND, he showed us last night that he has talent and skill to do more than Broadway. I have a good feeling about him.
Ade Obayomi - I don't have much to articulate about him at this point, but I just have a feeling. I really enjoyed his dancing in the piece with Melissa. They were a great match and had good chemistry together. So important for partnered dance.
Vitolio Jeune - his number with partner Asuka was not one of the best last night, which was sad. I will admit that I think he's HOT, but that's not the only reason I'm rooting for him... c'mon, now... I sense that there's more inside him than what we got last night, more dance skill and fire, so I hope that America gives him enough votes so he doesn't go home tonight.
Melissa Sandvig - LOVE this girl. She's 29 and rocks it, calling the other dancers "kids" and says it with a smile and that she can hang with 'em. Represent, girl! She acquired the nickname Naughty Ballerina during her audition and joked about that during her bio segment last night. She's fun, has a sass and a sense of humor and reminds me of me - my friends said the same thing [*grins*]. Oh, and since she's a classically trained ballerina since age 5 or so, she's quite good. (That's where we she doesn't remind me of me...)
[Check out the link to the Fox page with the Top 20's pics].
And what about each dance number? There were several that I enjoyed... the first hip hop piece with Phillip and Jeanine... Wade Robeson's quirky crash-test-dummy piece - LOVED and reminded me of the Katie Elliot haz-mat suit piece I danced in this spring... the Bollywood piece... the modern piece by Mandy Moore, danced by Ade and Melissa... the Foxtrot danced by Brandon and Janette... And of course there were a few pieces that fell flat for me... sadly, Vitolio and Asuka's Broadway piece, which needed more pizazz... OMG, the last hip hop piece was NOT good - just like the judges said, Tony and Paris did not hit it hard enough. AT ALL. Seriously.
And I can't write a review of the show without commenting on judge Mary Murphy... Mary, Mary, Mary... does anyone else who saw the show think maybe she had something more than just water in that cup of hers? She's always a bit crazy, and maybe she's just really high on life and the excitement of the show, but good LORD she was out of control last night. I would love to meet that woman.
And that's a wrap. Tonight will be the first elimination show. I hope to the dancing gods that the five couples I voted for are all safe for at least another week...
Auditions have wrapped up, the Top 20 have been selected in Vegas, and now it's time for the dancers to get down with their bad selves in hopes of winning the hearts of viewers to become this season's "America's Favorite Dancer".
Overall, this season is going to rock. Granted I said that last year, but that's beside the point. This group is fantastic, from talent and skill to personality and charisma, which is going to make it hard to vote. Case in point: I voted for five couples last night. Five. I'm not even sure if that's kosher, but I couldn't help myself - I couldn't decide! Yowza, it's going to be an exciting summer for us SYTYCD-ophiles...
Anywho...
The dancers who are starting to make their way onto the "Jessi's Favorites" list:
Evan Kasprzak - this kid's style is classic Broadway. Think OLD-school, like Gene Kelly. Love this kid, he's adorable. Not only can he get it done onstage, he looks like he's having fun up there. I'm a big fan of dancers who look like they're loving what they're doing (believe me, I've seen dancers who look bored or miserable on stage... sad). AND, he showed us last night that he has talent and skill to do more than Broadway. I have a good feeling about him.
Ade Obayomi - I don't have much to articulate about him at this point, but I just have a feeling. I really enjoyed his dancing in the piece with Melissa. They were a great match and had good chemistry together. So important for partnered dance.
Vitolio Jeune - his number with partner Asuka was not one of the best last night, which was sad. I will admit that I think he's HOT, but that's not the only reason I'm rooting for him... c'mon, now... I sense that there's more inside him than what we got last night, more dance skill and fire, so I hope that America gives him enough votes so he doesn't go home tonight.
Melissa Sandvig - LOVE this girl. She's 29 and rocks it, calling the other dancers "kids" and says it with a smile and that she can hang with 'em. Represent, girl! She acquired the nickname Naughty Ballerina during her audition and joked about that during her bio segment last night. She's fun, has a sass and a sense of humor and reminds me of me - my friends said the same thing [*grins*]. Oh, and since she's a classically trained ballerina since age 5 or so, she's quite good. (That's where we she doesn't remind me of me...)
[Check out the link to the Fox page with the Top 20's pics].
And what about each dance number? There were several that I enjoyed... the first hip hop piece with Phillip and Jeanine... Wade Robeson's quirky crash-test-dummy piece - LOVED and reminded me of the Katie Elliot haz-mat suit piece I danced in this spring... the Bollywood piece... the modern piece by Mandy Moore, danced by Ade and Melissa... the Foxtrot danced by Brandon and Janette... And of course there were a few pieces that fell flat for me... sadly, Vitolio and Asuka's Broadway piece, which needed more pizazz... OMG, the last hip hop piece was NOT good - just like the judges said, Tony and Paris did not hit it hard enough. AT ALL. Seriously.
And I can't write a review of the show without commenting on judge Mary Murphy... Mary, Mary, Mary... does anyone else who saw the show think maybe she had something more than just water in that cup of hers? She's always a bit crazy, and maybe she's just really high on life and the excitement of the show, but good LORD she was out of control last night. I would love to meet that woman.
And that's a wrap. Tonight will be the first elimination show. I hope to the dancing gods that the five couples I voted for are all safe for at least another week...
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Reality Check Monday
* I intended to post this Monday night, but was too exhausted to finish it then, so I left it until today...
Last night my summer ballet class started. I was really looking forward to it, excited to have another dance class added to my schedule and help get rid of the Bad Funk. I've also been worrying about staying in shape for Chicago, so I knew this would help me stop fretting a little bit. I was also a little nervous since I haven't done ballet in a month. I wasn't too worried about being out of shape... I've stayed active with hip hop, conditioning exercises and my Tae Bo videos for cardio. My concern was that I'd be slightly out of practice technically, plus I was (and still am) hella-uber sore from hip hop on Sunday, so I knew I wasn't going to do stellar. But it was only the first class back after a mini-break, and the teacher knew that so she shouldn't be too hard on us, so how bad could it be?
Let's just put it this way - I got bitch-slapped by ballet.
The hip hop soreness did not help, of course, but I'm pretty confident that my experience would have been no different had I felt fine.
My legs felt like they weighed 5 tons each. My turnout was, um, a bit lacking. I apparently left my brain somewhere else, because I couldn't remember the combinations to save my life. I was so discombobulated it was as if my brain and body were separate entities. My brain: "demi plie into releve, another demi plie, then grand plie... okay, got it." My body: "what's a plie? what is this 'ballet'? why am I wearing tights anyway?"
It was pretty pathetic and I was rather embarrassed. And I am SO GLAD that Professor C is offering these classes this summer, because I don't even want to think about what it would have been like getting to Chicago without taking technique classes beforehand.
Our professors are always telling us that dancers do not get to take time off. The Artistic Director of Diavolo, Jacques Heim, told us the same thing last fall when he and his company came to CSU to set a piece on us. He said that while everyone else with "normal" jobs get vacation time and weekends off, dancers don't. Ever. Not if you want to keep your job.
Time off to rest and rejuvenate is important, yes, and they do tell us to make sure we give our bodies downtime, but what they mean is we can't take huge chunks of time off and think we can come back and pick up where we left off.
And we all know this in our heads, but we quickly forget so getting a reality check every so often does a dancer good. While I had good intentions doing what I've been doing to stay in shape, and they have helped keep me in general condition, I was naive in thinking that they would keep me in dance condition.
I definitely was not the only one in the Reality Check Boat. One girl told me she has been biking, hiking and running, thinking she was doing such a good job of staying in shape. She mentioned her surprise to Professor C at how not in shape she realized she was during class despite all her activities. Professor C told her about some study done years ago to find which sports/activities required the most stamina, strength, flexibility, mental focus, comprehensive use of all the muscle groups, all at the same time, and only two won the prize: fighting (I assume this means martial arts) and dance. And so therefore, the only way to stay in that caliber of shape is to do the activity itself.
Silly, silly Jessi.
I have my excuses/reasons/justifications for why I wasn't doing ballet to stay in shape for ballet... the never-ending reason being money. "I can't afford to take classes at other studios, blah blah blah..." This limitation is very really for me, there's no doubt about that. But I can't let it keep me from moving forward and working at my craft - not if I want to succeed. I realized last night that it's not excuse enough. Okay, so I can't afford to take class besides what I've planned for, so then I do ballet in my kitchen after work at night. Its not ideal, but its better than not doing it at all. I also know that since I'll mostly be doing modern in Chicago, that means I also find a way to work on modern technique in the next three weeks.
So I accept the very humbling lesson learned here. I get very frustrated with my financial situation, but I have a choice: I can either fester in the frustration and work myself into deeper frustration, or I can use the frustration as fire to fight. I'm a fighter, so it's time for the gloves to come off.
Last night my summer ballet class started. I was really looking forward to it, excited to have another dance class added to my schedule and help get rid of the Bad Funk. I've also been worrying about staying in shape for Chicago, so I knew this would help me stop fretting a little bit. I was also a little nervous since I haven't done ballet in a month. I wasn't too worried about being out of shape... I've stayed active with hip hop, conditioning exercises and my Tae Bo videos for cardio. My concern was that I'd be slightly out of practice technically, plus I was (and still am) hella-uber sore from hip hop on Sunday, so I knew I wasn't going to do stellar. But it was only the first class back after a mini-break, and the teacher knew that so she shouldn't be too hard on us, so how bad could it be?
Let's just put it this way - I got bitch-slapped by ballet.
The hip hop soreness did not help, of course, but I'm pretty confident that my experience would have been no different had I felt fine.
My legs felt like they weighed 5 tons each. My turnout was, um, a bit lacking. I apparently left my brain somewhere else, because I couldn't remember the combinations to save my life. I was so discombobulated it was as if my brain and body were separate entities. My brain: "demi plie into releve, another demi plie, then grand plie... okay, got it." My body: "what's a plie? what is this 'ballet'? why am I wearing tights anyway?"
It was pretty pathetic and I was rather embarrassed. And I am SO GLAD that Professor C is offering these classes this summer, because I don't even want to think about what it would have been like getting to Chicago without taking technique classes beforehand.
Our professors are always telling us that dancers do not get to take time off. The Artistic Director of Diavolo, Jacques Heim, told us the same thing last fall when he and his company came to CSU to set a piece on us. He said that while everyone else with "normal" jobs get vacation time and weekends off, dancers don't. Ever. Not if you want to keep your job.
Time off to rest and rejuvenate is important, yes, and they do tell us to make sure we give our bodies downtime, but what they mean is we can't take huge chunks of time off and think we can come back and pick up where we left off.
And we all know this in our heads, but we quickly forget so getting a reality check every so often does a dancer good. While I had good intentions doing what I've been doing to stay in shape, and they have helped keep me in general condition, I was naive in thinking that they would keep me in dance condition.
I definitely was not the only one in the Reality Check Boat. One girl told me she has been biking, hiking and running, thinking she was doing such a good job of staying in shape. She mentioned her surprise to Professor C at how not in shape she realized she was during class despite all her activities. Professor C told her about some study done years ago to find which sports/activities required the most stamina, strength, flexibility, mental focus, comprehensive use of all the muscle groups, all at the same time, and only two won the prize: fighting (I assume this means martial arts) and dance. And so therefore, the only way to stay in that caliber of shape is to do the activity itself.
Silly, silly Jessi.
I have my excuses/reasons/justifications for why I wasn't doing ballet to stay in shape for ballet... the never-ending reason being money. "I can't afford to take classes at other studios, blah blah blah..." This limitation is very really for me, there's no doubt about that. But I can't let it keep me from moving forward and working at my craft - not if I want to succeed. I realized last night that it's not excuse enough. Okay, so I can't afford to take class besides what I've planned for, so then I do ballet in my kitchen after work at night. Its not ideal, but its better than not doing it at all. I also know that since I'll mostly be doing modern in Chicago, that means I also find a way to work on modern technique in the next three weeks.
So I accept the very humbling lesson learned here. I get very frustrated with my financial situation, but I have a choice: I can either fester in the frustration and work myself into deeper frustration, or I can use the frustration as fire to fight. I'm a fighter, so it's time for the gloves to come off.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Fridaylicious!
Friday feels sooooooo good, and it's especially sweet after my week of Bad Funkiness. I won't claim that the Bad Funk has dissipated, but at least my spirits are a couple notches higher than they've been recently.
The appearance of the sun helped a lot... I was surprised to see it this morning, and was even more [pleasantly] surprised that it stuck around as long as it did today... the work lunch barbecue at work was a go and boy was I happy that I got to eat lunch outside.
Other little nuggets of goodness that are helping lighten my mood:
* LOTS of social time this weekend, starting with [another!] barbecue this evening, and then I'll head downtown for this month's First Friday Gallery Walk. Besides getting to walk around and enjoy the galleries in Old Town FoCo, the Imagination Fair is also taking place. I must say, for a small city, FoCo has some awesome arts and cultural events. Tomorrow I'll go watch my swing crew perform at our Pride in the Park festival (ranked #5 in the country for small-town Pride events by gay.com - woot, woot, FoCo!). Then to a friend's graduation party, and then to another friend's cocktail party. I can't freakin' wait.
* Between all my social play time tomorrow, I get to get my hair cut, f-i-n-a-l-l-y! I'm a couple months overdue, and since my hair doesn't want to do anything beyond a ponytail anymore, I'm not feeling the prettiest these days. My cute bangs shall soon return!
* I plan to bike to most of the above activities, defiantly armed with my rain jacket. Suck on it, gloomy weather!! Let me add that I HEART my bike, and I'm trying to save money by driving less, if possible, now that it's summer and the weather is [supposed to be] nice.
* Hip hop hooray on Sunday! Even though every Sunday night I get my butt absolutely whooped by the hip hop teacher, I LOVE Sundays. I'm getting stronger, my arms are nice and defined, and those two-and-half-hours of intensity are pure CHURCH for me. I leave excited for life and being a dancer.
That's all for now... Time to get my barbecue on.
Happy Friday, everyone!
The appearance of the sun helped a lot... I was surprised to see it this morning, and was even more [pleasantly] surprised that it stuck around as long as it did today... the work lunch barbecue at work was a go and boy was I happy that I got to eat lunch outside.
Other little nuggets of goodness that are helping lighten my mood:
* LOTS of social time this weekend, starting with [another!] barbecue this evening, and then I'll head downtown for this month's First Friday Gallery Walk. Besides getting to walk around and enjoy the galleries in Old Town FoCo, the Imagination Fair is also taking place. I must say, for a small city, FoCo has some awesome arts and cultural events. Tomorrow I'll go watch my swing crew perform at our Pride in the Park festival (ranked #5 in the country for small-town Pride events by gay.com - woot, woot, FoCo!). Then to a friend's graduation party, and then to another friend's cocktail party. I can't freakin' wait.
* Between all my social play time tomorrow, I get to get my hair cut, f-i-n-a-l-l-y! I'm a couple months overdue, and since my hair doesn't want to do anything beyond a ponytail anymore, I'm not feeling the prettiest these days. My cute bangs shall soon return!
* I plan to bike to most of the above activities, defiantly armed with my rain jacket. Suck on it, gloomy weather!! Let me add that I HEART my bike, and I'm trying to save money by driving less, if possible, now that it's summer and the weather is [supposed to be] nice.
* Hip hop hooray on Sunday! Even though every Sunday night I get my butt absolutely whooped by the hip hop teacher, I LOVE Sundays. I'm getting stronger, my arms are nice and defined, and those two-and-half-hours of intensity are pure CHURCH for me. I leave excited for life and being a dancer.
That's all for now... Time to get my barbecue on.
Happy Friday, everyone!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Funk is good paired with soul, not with the blues
Monday's stress and anxiety over money matters have settled into a bad case of funk. And not the good kind of funk. Good funk is James Brown, Earth Wind & Fire and Funkytown. Bad funk is not brushing your teeth, not showering, or ignoring all general rules of hygiene. Bad Funk is this cloud of vomity BLAH that I'm stuck under.
My bloggy friend Maegan coined it perfectly in a Twitter post (I know it's technically called a "Tweet", but I personally don't like that term) this morning: she called it the "June Gloom". Granted she was referencing the gloomy weather that has a death grip on Los Angeles - here in Colorado, too! - but I think June Gloom is a perfect way to describe the funk that is pinning me in a half-nelson tighter than a testosterone-overloaded teenage wrestler.
Yesterday was awful. I needed a vacation away from myself. I was definitely sportin' my crabby pants. I could not figure out what the heck was wrong with me... I initially blamed it on exhaustion, which is a perfectly reasonable explanation considering I'm not sleeping well again, accompanied by some crazy dreams. Yes, I'm exhausted, but the root of the problem is not lack of sleep. I'm not sleeping well because of this funk I'm in, so its all a vicious cycle that keeps perpetuating itself. Today as I drove to work, scowling at the rainy gloom hanging heavy above us, I came to the conclusion that I'm hella bored and lonely and restless and depressed. Bad F-U-N-K, y'all.
Yes, I have friends and we hang out here and there. Sure, I have things to do... work, working out, my little projects at home, my TV shows... but none of this really does the trick, which in turn makes me feel guilty. I feel like a jerk who doesn't appreciate her friends or her job or the fact that I actually have time to watch TV. Guilt = feeding the Bad Funk monster.
I'm bored because I'm not in dance classes or rehearsals, the things that fulfill me and give me a sense of purpose. Even though I work all day, I feel totally unproductive and lame. I don't feel like I'm doing anything. I HATE sitting for 8-plus hours a day, staring at a computer, all by myself. My body gets all hunched over and feels like a pile of mush. I feel like I'm turning into a hybrid of Quasi Moto and Jabba the Hut. Hot.
The loneliness is a bit more sinister and its a subject I'm very hesitant to broach on the World Wide Web for all the masses to read. Let's just say this: the mocking little demons who whisper mean things like "you're 30 and still alone" aren't easily ignored.
I'm restless because I feel stuck. I feel like I want to run forward and get the show on the road with my life and career, but I'm frozen. Remember the early 90's movie Joe versus the Volcano? Joe (Tom Hanks) goes to work everyday at this gray factory, to do a gray job, and the only sign of life or color is a flower that sprouts up between the cracks of the gray sidewalk outside the factory, which gets stepped on. Those early scenes in the movie always pop in my head when I feel like this.
I'm depressed because... well, because of all of the above.
The weather is NOT helping matters... as mentioned above, Colorado is stuck in this never-ending, Seattle-like hell (sorry L, but there's a damn good reason I don't live up there) of constant rain and clouds and totally depressing gloom! The sun will peek out here and there, but is soon reclaimed by heavy, hazy clouds. Temperatures don't really get above 75 degrees and the normally clear blue sky is a memory. I'd like to stop wearing jeans and scarves and wear my cute new sundress. The weather people tell us there is no sign of it letting up any time soon. Awesome. It makes me want to vomit.
I crave to do, to move, to create, to have adventures... I remind myself that I will soon have adventures in Chicago, and that should help ease some of this, but I also have a grip on reality and know that my time in Chicago won't be the end-all and be-all cure for my Bad Funk.
But maybe it will. Maybe I'll get to learn some amazing choreography. Maybe I'll finally figure out how to correctly jump and turn. Maybe I'll be inspired in my own choreography. Maybe I'll come back to Colorado and impress the hell out of my teachers and classmates at school. Maybe I'll fall in love with Chicago like I did with New York. Maybe I'll fall in love. Maybe future Mr. Hubby is kickin' it in Chi-town, waiting for me to get my butt there already. Maybe, maybe... as I've learned from the twists and turns and surprises in my crazy life, anything is possible. And anything has to be better than a case of Bad Funk.
My bloggy friend Maegan coined it perfectly in a Twitter post (I know it's technically called a "Tweet", but I personally don't like that term) this morning: she called it the "June Gloom". Granted she was referencing the gloomy weather that has a death grip on Los Angeles - here in Colorado, too! - but I think June Gloom is a perfect way to describe the funk that is pinning me in a half-nelson tighter than a testosterone-overloaded teenage wrestler.
Yesterday was awful. I needed a vacation away from myself. I was definitely sportin' my crabby pants. I could not figure out what the heck was wrong with me... I initially blamed it on exhaustion, which is a perfectly reasonable explanation considering I'm not sleeping well again, accompanied by some crazy dreams. Yes, I'm exhausted, but the root of the problem is not lack of sleep. I'm not sleeping well because of this funk I'm in, so its all a vicious cycle that keeps perpetuating itself. Today as I drove to work, scowling at the rainy gloom hanging heavy above us, I came to the conclusion that I'm hella bored and lonely and restless and depressed. Bad F-U-N-K, y'all.
Yes, I have friends and we hang out here and there. Sure, I have things to do... work, working out, my little projects at home, my TV shows... but none of this really does the trick, which in turn makes me feel guilty. I feel like a jerk who doesn't appreciate her friends or her job or the fact that I actually have time to watch TV. Guilt = feeding the Bad Funk monster.
I'm bored because I'm not in dance classes or rehearsals, the things that fulfill me and give me a sense of purpose. Even though I work all day, I feel totally unproductive and lame. I don't feel like I'm doing anything. I HATE sitting for 8-plus hours a day, staring at a computer, all by myself. My body gets all hunched over and feels like a pile of mush. I feel like I'm turning into a hybrid of Quasi Moto and Jabba the Hut. Hot.
The loneliness is a bit more sinister and its a subject I'm very hesitant to broach on the World Wide Web for all the masses to read. Let's just say this: the mocking little demons who whisper mean things like "you're 30 and still alone" aren't easily ignored.
I'm restless because I feel stuck. I feel like I want to run forward and get the show on the road with my life and career, but I'm frozen. Remember the early 90's movie Joe versus the Volcano? Joe (Tom Hanks) goes to work everyday at this gray factory, to do a gray job, and the only sign of life or color is a flower that sprouts up between the cracks of the gray sidewalk outside the factory, which gets stepped on. Those early scenes in the movie always pop in my head when I feel like this.
I'm depressed because... well, because of all of the above.
The weather is NOT helping matters... as mentioned above, Colorado is stuck in this never-ending, Seattle-like hell (sorry L, but there's a damn good reason I don't live up there) of constant rain and clouds and totally depressing gloom! The sun will peek out here and there, but is soon reclaimed by heavy, hazy clouds. Temperatures don't really get above 75 degrees and the normally clear blue sky is a memory. I'd like to stop wearing jeans and scarves and wear my cute new sundress. The weather people tell us there is no sign of it letting up any time soon. Awesome. It makes me want to vomit.
I crave to do, to move, to create, to have adventures... I remind myself that I will soon have adventures in Chicago, and that should help ease some of this, but I also have a grip on reality and know that my time in Chicago won't be the end-all and be-all cure for my Bad Funk.
But maybe it will. Maybe I'll get to learn some amazing choreography. Maybe I'll finally figure out how to correctly jump and turn. Maybe I'll be inspired in my own choreography. Maybe I'll come back to Colorado and impress the hell out of my teachers and classmates at school. Maybe I'll fall in love with Chicago like I did with New York. Maybe I'll fall in love. Maybe future Mr. Hubby is kickin' it in Chi-town, waiting for me to get my butt there already. Maybe, maybe... as I've learned from the twists and turns and surprises in my crazy life, anything is possible. And anything has to be better than a case of Bad Funk.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Checking in
Despite my intentions to write something everyday, my poor blog gets neglected anyway. I wish for more followers, but passers-by are not going to linger for long if regular updates are lacking. So for the umpteenth time, I'm claiming that I will try to do better.
So I thought I should check in. What's happening in my world these days? Here is an at-a-glance update... (and please forgive any incoherence, as I slept terribly last night and have been in a very thick, exhausted fog all day... I'm surprised I'm still awake, honestly...)
Daily life is much less eventful (hectic?) without school demanding this and that. I go to work at my desk job in the morning, arriving sometime between 8 and 9, then leave around 5 p.m. I do various things in the evenings... workout, cook dinner, watch SYTYCD, work on various projects... It feels so slow, even boring, after the go-go-go pace of the semester. But I'm trying to appreciate the calm, as the go-go-go storm will be back before I know it.
T-minus 28 days until I'll be in Chicago for my dance intensive! I'm excited and nervous all rolled into one... I can't wait to eat Chicago deep-dish pizza, ride the El (Chicago's train), and see my friend D, whom I will stay with for the month. Dance-wise, I'm really looking forward to learning A LOT and getting to know the company better (networking, networking). I hope to return home a better, stronger dancer, ready to rock it at school in the fall. On the other hand, a constant stream of questions roll through my head... am I working out enough to stay in shape? Am I going to suck in the intensive classes? Are they going to regret inviting me to the intensive? What's the El like, anyway? Similar, better or worse than NYC's subway? Will I have enough time and money to sight see? Clubs? Lake Michigan? Gifts for family and friends?
And then there are the BIG questions that caused me to jolt out of bed this morning in a panic... I only get paid once this month (something the University does each year that coincides with it's fiscal year-end - long story that I don't even fully understand), so can I afford everything this month??? Plane ticket? New leotards and tights? Ballet classes to keep me in shape? Gas money? Groceries? A haircut? Father's Day for my dad? My normal monthly bills??? I'm stressing, there's no doubt about that.
[Good lord, no wonder I didn't sleep last night.]
I scoped out Craigslist again today to see if there are any part time jobs on the weekends, but no dice. I'm very hesitant to find a part time job in the evenings because then my training/conditioning/ballet classes get compromised, and that's not a very good idea at all. Asking for money, whether through "sponsor letters" or setting up some kind of donation thing here (I know people have done this)? Ugh, that gives me serious anxiety. Donating plasma even crossed my mind, but the thought of doing that just makes me want to throw up and pass out, so I don't think that's a wise choice. [I'm not a good needles/blood/body fluids person, especially when done to me - and to think I considered a career in nursing twice upon a time.]
I'm trying very hard not to let my stress cross-over into freak-out territory, but it's difficult holding on to my sanity when teetering on that edge in an exhausted state.
If anyone has any suggestions, ideas or words of encouragement, I'm all ears!!
So I thought I should check in. What's happening in my world these days? Here is an at-a-glance update... (and please forgive any incoherence, as I slept terribly last night and have been in a very thick, exhausted fog all day... I'm surprised I'm still awake, honestly...)
Daily life is much less eventful (hectic?) without school demanding this and that. I go to work at my desk job in the morning, arriving sometime between 8 and 9, then leave around 5 p.m. I do various things in the evenings... workout, cook dinner, watch SYTYCD, work on various projects... It feels so slow, even boring, after the go-go-go pace of the semester. But I'm trying to appreciate the calm, as the go-go-go storm will be back before I know it.
T-minus 28 days until I'll be in Chicago for my dance intensive! I'm excited and nervous all rolled into one... I can't wait to eat Chicago deep-dish pizza, ride the El (Chicago's train), and see my friend D, whom I will stay with for the month. Dance-wise, I'm really looking forward to learning A LOT and getting to know the company better (networking, networking). I hope to return home a better, stronger dancer, ready to rock it at school in the fall. On the other hand, a constant stream of questions roll through my head... am I working out enough to stay in shape? Am I going to suck in the intensive classes? Are they going to regret inviting me to the intensive? What's the El like, anyway? Similar, better or worse than NYC's subway? Will I have enough time and money to sight see? Clubs? Lake Michigan? Gifts for family and friends?
And then there are the BIG questions that caused me to jolt out of bed this morning in a panic... I only get paid once this month (something the University does each year that coincides with it's fiscal year-end - long story that I don't even fully understand), so can I afford everything this month??? Plane ticket? New leotards and tights? Ballet classes to keep me in shape? Gas money? Groceries? A haircut? Father's Day for my dad? My normal monthly bills??? I'm stressing, there's no doubt about that.
[Good lord, no wonder I didn't sleep last night.]
I scoped out Craigslist again today to see if there are any part time jobs on the weekends, but no dice. I'm very hesitant to find a part time job in the evenings because then my training/conditioning/ballet classes get compromised, and that's not a very good idea at all. Asking for money, whether through "sponsor letters" or setting up some kind of donation thing here (I know people have done this)? Ugh, that gives me serious anxiety. Donating plasma even crossed my mind, but the thought of doing that just makes me want to throw up and pass out, so I don't think that's a wise choice. [I'm not a good needles/blood/body fluids person, especially when done to me - and to think I considered a career in nursing twice upon a time.]
I'm trying very hard not to let my stress cross-over into freak-out territory, but it's difficult holding on to my sanity when teetering on that edge in an exhausted state.
If anyone has any suggestions, ideas or words of encouragement, I'm all ears!!
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