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Monday, March 9, 2009

Out of sorts

Wow, I don't feel like myself at all today. I'm very tired, my hip is killing me and I'm an emotional basket case. I've had to fight back tears several times so far...

The first time was in my modern class this morning. Today was our midterm and I was not on my game, even though I've been jazzed and ready for this midterm - modern is my best class! I love this class and the movement we've been working on feels so good in my body. I really feel like I've made good progress this semester! But I fell to pieces during the first exercise.

Its all because of my left hip. My left side has always been less flexible than my right, but for the last week or so its really been bothering me. Let's see if I can explain it... you know that "catching" sensation you feel in a joint when it needs to pop, and then the release when it does? I have that sensation in my hip, but it never pops or releases, and trying to pop it or stretch it just freakin' hurts. Today it hurt like nobody's business and I knew it was bad when the hip flexor kept having spasms and then gave out on me a couple times, almost causing me to fall. That's when I felt the lump rise in my throat and I just wanted to cry. I hate being broken. I hate, hate, HATE it.

I called my physical therapist's office and thankfully they had an opening right after lunch. I love the PT department in the student health center. They're the only department worth anything there. I'm supposed to go back on Wednesday for a follow-up. In the meantime its all about the ibuprofen, ice, stretching the right side to balance things out, and being easy on the left in my classes and rehearsals. Roger that.

The second crying incident happened when I got home from the PT's office to grab some lunch before coming to work. It was over something stupid, but I took it personally and with already feeling beat up, I just couldn't deal. I jumped online to check email really quick and noticed that a friend was on Skype, so I started a chat to say hello, but with the intention to be quick. But I got zero response and then he logged off sans acknowledgment. Fine, I didn't want to talk to you anyway, *hmph*. My eyes welled up with tears AGAIN. And I continued to fight them all the way to work. I'm so freakin' emotional I feel like I'm having PMS! And its not the right time for that at all. Totally ridiculous.

I wonder when the next crying episode will be?? [She says with sarcasm.]

I guess I just have to chalk up this day as "just one of those days". And that sucks because I have many, many hours to go and things to do before I can get into my jammies and crawl into bed. Oh well. Maybe if I just lay my head down on my desk and close my eyes, just for five minutes... *sigh*...

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